And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
