yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i think i have two assholes
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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