Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
