We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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