I wanna bring you to show and tell
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
