Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
