I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
