when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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