Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
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Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
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She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My life is pants optional.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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