i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
