HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize