worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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