Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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