"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
