I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize