What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
