Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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