glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
