.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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