What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
