If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
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Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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