Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
