I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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