half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize