I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
