Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm eating all of the evidence.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
it's like heaven, but drunker
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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