whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
