talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
