My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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