He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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