what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
