Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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