Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
