she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize