let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
