I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
