That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
