If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm at about main and main street
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize