Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
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I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
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If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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