Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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