Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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