guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
