I think i peed on brittanys purse
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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