lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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