just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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