Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
