Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
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Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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