Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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