I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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