come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
