ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
