There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
