Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
