I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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