I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
