I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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